I AM ALL THE FUCKING EMOTIONS THIS WEEK.
I am finally starting to feel some relief from my bum rib from coughing so much, so now, I no longer feel doomed.
I officially told my CrossFit coach that I would not be returning to CrossFit until after I had the baby.
Speaking that shit into existence really sucked.
I even told her that I might take off two full months after I have the baby. After a lot of reflection, I just feel like my body needs more time to recover.
I had a doctor appointment last week and this week, but there wasn’t really much to talk about. I saw two different doctors and one said I wasn’t dilated and the other said I was dilated 1cm. Still barely thinned out at 50% – 60%. I expected this because Jolee is still sitting in my ribs, basically. I knew she hadn’t dropped. As I continue to get further along, and bigger, I just continue to get more and more uncomfortable.
At this appointment, however, the doctor told me that she was in a posterior position.
She didn’t even say it to me directly, it was more so a note for her. But, I noted it and I was going to research it thoroughly later 🙂 🙁
Oh, and, news flash, I’M STILL FUCKING PREGNANT.
And I’m pissed about it.
I told myself I would not get my hopes up. But I did.
And it wasn’t just me. So many other people also had the expectation that I was going to go during week 38 because I did with Raelynn and Briar.
With Raelynn, it was a complete surprise. My water broke at home on 38 weeks and 3 days and I had her 8 hours later on the same day.
With Briar, I started having contractions on 38 weeks and 1 day, and I had her 5 hours later on 38 weeks and 2 days.
38 weeks came and went…
38 weeks and 1 day came and went…
38 weeks and 2 days came and went…
38 weeks and 3 days came and went…
38 weeks and 4 days came and went…and at this point, I was just pissed. It was a Sunday. And I couldn’t believe I was still pregnant. Scott and I had really hoped I would go before this upcoming Monday when I was going to be 38 weeks and 5 days because it was Derby week. We knew we weren’t going to do anything, but we just wanted to be off work.
I won’t even build up the anticipation for you. I will just tell you that I was pregnant for all of week 38. And I was not happy about it.
At this point, I was starting to get scared that I was going to have to be induced. At the end of week 38, I knew I basically had 1 more week until they would start talking to me about induction. They told me at a prior appointment that I could schedule induction at week 39 and I refused.
For myself and my situation, I am overall against being induced for the pure reasoning that I want to have another unmedicated labor and birth.
Under normal circumstances, when you are induced, you are pretty much bound to your bed and that’s the last thing I want.
In order for labor to progress quickly and naturally, you have to move, walk, change positions, etc. Staying in the bed is not what I want. Yes, I realize that I could get induced, be bound to the bed, get an epidural, and have a 2 hour labor. I realize that is possible. But I don’t want to bank on that. I want to to do what my body was made to do. And it is very frustrating to know that what you want can be taken away from you, especially when you know your body is capable of doing it.