Week 16 was another week that I was looking forward to, but not looking forward to.
I had another OB appointment.
In my heart, I knew there wasn’t anything wrong.
But, my head was telling me to still be cautious. Don’t get too attached, because you never know.
I was seeing a different doctor this time that was new to the practice and I’d never seen her before. I didn’t even have the energy to ask about my broken uterus this time. I was over getting opinions. I was over thinking about it. At this point, if something is going to happen, then it’s going to happen. I’ve known this all along, but for some reason, this week, I just didn’t even want to talk about it.
We got right to business as soon as she walked in the room. It took her more time than I was comfortable with to find the heartbeat. And then she would lose it and have to find it again. It was a little unnerving. But I heard it several times, for a long time. She said it was somewhere in the 150’s. She asked if I had any questions and I immediately said no.
I was just ready to get out of there.
I just hate that I dread these appointments. I look forward to them only for the time I’m there and then I instantly start worrying again.Yes, I heard the heartbeat, but what if something else is wrong?
I know. I’m an idiot.
As of this week, I was just starting to somewhat feel pregnant. I felt like I may have even started feeling some kicks, but I’m not sure. I am still not showing. But my pants are starting to get tighter. From the outside looking in, if you didn’t know I was pregnant, you would think my weight gain has been attributed to my terrible diet thus far. Which, I’m sure my terrible diet has definitely contributed to my weight gain.
Literally eating fucking horrible.
I have no desire to meal prep at all. I hate this. I am all about eating healthy and working out. And I’m totally out of element. This pregnancy has done a number to me.
CrossFit has been a completely different story. With all the traveling, and eating like shit, it’s been very hard to drag my ass to workout. I’m definitely not doing myself any favors by not going. It’s not like I’m not going at all, but I’ve definitely decreased to about twice a week. I’m just really hard on myself when it comes to this because I need this mentally more than anything.
Monday November 19
Strength
Front Squat
1×4 @ 45% = 88#
1×4 @ 55% = 105#
1×4 @ 65% = 125#
1×4 @ 75% = 143#
4×4 @ 82% = 155#
Metcon
6 rounds
10 cal row
10 sandbag front squats
10 pull-ups
1:30 rest
Modified the pullups to strict with a band
Tuesday November 20
Strength
2 position hang clean (mid thigh, knee)
2x(1+1) @ 50% = 75#
1x(1+1) @ 60% = 90#
1x(1+1) @ 70% = 105#
1x(1+1) @ 75% = 112#
4x(1+1) @ 80% = 120#
Struggle bus at 80%. Felt heavy as fuck.
Metcon
3 rounds
4 min AMRAP
30 double unders
5 hang power clean 115/75
5 bar facing burpees
2 min rest
Rx’d the whole workout. VERY VERY SLOWLY.
