I’m sitting at home. ALONE. ALL ALONE. L I T E R A L L Y A L L A L O N E. And it’s been such a great day. I have done so much stuff today that has really filled my cup up to make me a whole human being again. As I […]
After a hectic start to Jolee’s life…where are we now? Well, I did not keep up month to month posts with Jolee. So, we are pretty much going to jump from 4 months old to now…1 year old. She’s perfect. And feisty. And funny. And I love her so much. As I was editing the […]
Throughout the whole Jolee’s Journey with the Bottle…I have remained cautiously optimistic about the whole situation. She’s taken a bottle and then not taken a bottle and then taken a bottle again. I hoped this was the end of everything. I hoped she was really going to take a bottle forever. Well, not forever, but […]
I live in fear every single day. Nonstop, constant, unrealistic, fucking annoying fear. The closest that I’ve come to detailing my fear and worry to is my therapist. So, what does a day in the life of my overthinking brain look like? Wake up at 5:00 a.m. to go workout. When dressed and teeth brushed, […]
August has been a bad month for my anxiety. I am struggling with some real debilitating anxiety lately. Overwhelming, not focusing, and taking over my quality of life anxiety. I feel like I’m okay or I have a handle on everything and then something happens that causes my anxiety to literally spiral out of control. […]
It’s been an interesting July. I can’t believe 2018 is already half way over. Scott has been out of town for work, honestly, for the majority of the month. The only thing…The main thing I miss about him being at home is sleeping in the same bed as him. I just don’t sleep as good […]
It’s been almost 3 months since I have posted anything about the kids, so time for an update! Raelynn will be 4 in less than 1 month. **cue the tears** Briar is 18 months old. I swear, I blink and they have aged by a month. Raelynn is my cute little ginger. Her curiosity and […]
I would like to tell you that Week 10 was sunshine and rainbows, but I’d be lying to you. After a week of feeling pretty okay, I was quickly (and thankfully) reminded that I am in fact still growing a baby. I was nauseous for 3 days straight. And just flat out feeling like shit. […]
Changing CrossFit Boxes
I had a therapy appointment this past Tuesday. It was the first appointment since Scott and I had went together. There was a lot to talk about and fill her in on. She initially asked how I had been since I was on the verge of a mental breakdown the last time I was there. […]
We have been going through some major changes at home with the kids. We took Briar’s pacifier away. There was really no reason other than we were over it and we just didn’t want her to have it any longer. She wasn’t really reliant on it except for nap time and bed time. We said […]
As I’ve said many times in 2018, this year has been really tough on me, personally. I’m trying really hard to work through it, but I just feel like I always get knocked down. Throughout all of my personal issues, it’s also been tough on my marriage. Honestly, it’s not just this year that has […]
Since I have been struggling so bad recently, I ended up going back to see the person, Jamie, that did my chakragraph reading. She does reiki healing or energy work. It’s basically her calling upon spirits to go through my chakras and get rid of the bad energy. Yes, I know, it sounds a bit […]
After realizing I was still being irrational..see last post…, I finally talked to Scott that night. I basically told him everything I was feeling about medicine, and keto, and therapy, and life. When I texted him and asked if he would go to therapy with me, I offered no explanation. I wanted to at least […]
I am having an extremely hard time dealing with the latest news with my uterus. I cannot recover from it. I think about it non-stop. It really is consuming my life right now. And I hate it. With all of the events in 2018, and especially in the past two weeks, my anxiety is spiraling […]
