Throughout the whole Jolee’s Journey with the Bottle…I have remained cautiously optimistic about the whole situation. She’s taken a bottle and then not taken a bottle and then taken a bottle again. I hoped this was the end of everything. I hoped she was really going to take a bottle forever. Well, not forever, but […]

It’s times like these where I’m just pissed off that I even have to work. Yes, I wrote a post about how I could NEVER be a stay at home mom. But, when something is wrong with your child…you want to do everything in your power to fix it. So, she can’t take a bottle…let […]

I am going to attempt to sum up the end of July 2019 and all of August 2019 without sounding like the most ungrateful son of bitch that ever walked this planet. It fucking sucked. Jolee is healthy. I am healthy. My family is healthy. My kids are alive and breathing. But, July and August […]

I have been anxiously awaiting this appointment more than anything. Not that I wasn’t happy with chiropractor, because I definitely was, but I felt like I would probably get some definite answers as to why she wasn’t taking the bottle and how long it might be until she actually took the bottle. The speech therapist […]

This week I was returning to work. And I was really freaking sad. I was not looking forward to going back to work at all. I think it was a couple of different things, but mainly knowing that Jolee was my absolute last baby made me sad. I just wasn’t ready to go back to […]

We left the hospital late afternoon on a Saturday. As we were leaving the hospital, I was concerned about my mental state. I told Scott that I just needed today to recover, but was that really all I needed? Just one day to get my shit together? On top of my extreme emotions from our […]

After Jolee was delivered, we had to spend 2 1/2 days in the hospital. Day 1 was essentially great. I got to meet Jolee. After I gave birth, we did immediate skin to skin. I had a second degree tear so they went straight to sewing me up. Let me tell you, this is not […]

Scott and I’s talk did not heal all wounds, but we each talked and we each said our piece. Now onto hopefully fixing it. I knew my therapist would be a huge help for me in helping me decide if I was bat shit crazy or if my relationship was really spiraling. I plopped my […]

As I’ve said many times in 2018, this year has been really tough on me, personally. I’m trying really hard to work through it, but I just feel like I always get knocked down. Throughout all of my personal issues, it’s also been tough on my marriage. Honestly, it’s not just this year that has […]

It’s been a couple of weeks since my last update on all of this blood work and hcg level bullshit. I ended up having to go to get blood work done two other times. It went from a 33 to a 25 to a 3. And they still wanted me to come back for more. […]

For real. This happened. And for anyone that knows me, knows this is huge. I get it, it sounds so fucking dumb. But I am a creature of habit. I thrive on a schedule. And for me to break a schedule purposely…that’s a big freaking deal. First of all, I don’t even know what my […]

I feel like I have a never ending to-do list. 24/7, 365 days a year. Whenever I have the chance to mark something off, another task or two gets added. I thrive off lists and organization. I literally feel lost without all of my to-do lists. I have work to-do lists, personal to-do lists, family […]